Is It Anxiety, Or Is It Actually Intuition?

I used to think I was losing my mind.

Every single day, I asked my closest friends, “Am I crazy? Am I losing my mind?”

Because no matter what my ex-husband said—no matter how many times he reassured me—my body didn’t believe him.

If you’ve read my past posts, you know that in 2019 my ex-husband had his first affair. That event broke me in every way possible. It broke who I thought my partner was. It broke what I believed trust meant. It broke where I thought our life was going.

And physically, it broke my body.

I started therapy—individual therapy and couples therapy. We went to session after session. My ex-husband would sit there and reassure me that I had nothing to worry about.

But my body constantly felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest.

I lived every moment of every day with that feeling you get right before you’re about to get in trouble—like something bad was about to happen. Always.

Eventually, my healing journey took me away from traditional talk therapy and toward something different—a more somatic approach. I began learning about my body and my nervous system. I started doing breathwork and EMDR.

And that’s when everything began to shift.

Once I understood the connection between the brain and the body, I started to question whether what I thought was anxiety was actually my intuition trying to speak to me. 

One of the most powerful things I learned is that the nervous system is wired to send far more information from the body to the brain than the other way around.

Read that again.

No matter how much you try to think your way or talk your way into feeling safe, your body will override those words unless it actually feels safe. The messages from the body to the brain are stronger.

Your brain can’t bullshit your body. 

That’s the difference between anxiety and intuition.

Anxiety tries to shave the square peg to fit into the round hold.  Intuition knows the square peg doesn’t fit, and wants to know why.

Anxiety is noise—the spiraling thoughts, the what-ifs, the mental chaos.

Intuition is quieter. Steadier. Curious. It’s the knowing, even before you actually know.

Anxiety is impulsive.  Intuition is intentional. 

It’s the deep internal sense that the words you’re hearing aren’t landing in a way that feels safe. It’s your body telling you something isn’t right, even when you can’t yet explain why.

It took me a long time to pull back the curtain on what that knowing was telling me: that as much as my partner said he was trustworthy, he wasn’t. My intuition spoke first, the answers to validate its knowing, came later.  

After his first affair, I was never able to fully let my guard down around him again, no matter how hard I tried.

I would notice things that didn’t feel right. And no matter how much my ex-husband tried to explain them away or deny them, that knowing inside me persisted.

Whether you call it intuition, instinct, or something deeper, I don’t know exactly what it was.

But it was real.

For a long time, I tried to shut it down. I tried to squash it. Numb it. Do anything I could to make it go away.

It wasn’t until I stopped fighting it—and instead gave it a seat at the table and listened to what it had to say—that everything began to change.

My body never felt safe again in that relationship.

But once I gave my intuition a seat at the table—even while I was still in the relationship—I learned how to find safety within myself. I learned how to listen to myself. How to trust myself.

I began to see things more clearly.

I stopped needing someone else to confirm what I was seeing.

I started to believe myself.

You don’t need someone else to validate your reality.

If your body is telling you something doesn’t feel right, listen to it.

If you’re constantly asking yourself, “Am I crazy?” or “Am I seeing things that aren’t there?”—you’re probably not crazy.

You’re probably just finally starting to listen.

Over the last several years, my intuition has been my greatest alli.  She comes everywhere with me now and I always make sure she has a seat at the table.  

Give your intuition a seat at the table. Hear what it has to say.

Your own validation is all you need.